Dealing wth financial infidelity
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Dealing wth financial infidelity
We have all been guilty of telling the odd fib when it come to our spending - "Is that a new top?" "Of course not dear, I've had it ages......."
Research tells us that two out of every five couples are guilty of some kind of financial infidelity. However, what do we do when these infidelities spiral out of control resulting in us running up huge debts?
What's the damage
You must find out the size of your indiscretion. Contact all your credit/store card companies and ask them exactly how much you owe and the interest rate you are paying. This will probably be quite scary but you must know the full extent of your debt before you can start trying to reduce it.
Make a plan
Work out a realistic financial action plan. Speak to your creditors to see if you can come to any repayment arrangements. Contact a debt counsellor to see if they can help. Remember you are just about to tell your other half about a debt they had no idea existed. Try to soften a blow by at least having a plan for solving your financial woes.
Why?
Ask yourself why you did what you did? Did your spending just get out of control, were you trying to protect your partner or is there some other deeper issue. If you can find out what led you to commit financial adultery you can stop it happening again.
Don't pass the buck
Don't blame other people for your financial indiscretions. Take responsibility for your own finances and the mess you have made of them. Take the time to sit down with your partner and tell them the whole truth. Remember to apologise and layout how you intend to make things right emotionally and financially.
Give them time
You will probably feel relieved once you have come clean but your partner will no doubt be in shock, which is likely be followed by anger. Give them time to process what you have told them. Reassure them that you intend to sort your financial problems and that it won't happen again. Accept it will take time to regain their trust and that this is just the start of a long road to recovery.
However, by being honest, hopefully you will be able to both overcome your financial infidelity and build a stronger emotional and financial future.
Source: Time For Money